Tips & Advice

Masturbating - 

Women’s For Beginners - 

When you have relaxed your body lie on a bed, or sit in a comfortable chair, and explore your nude or semi-nude body. Run your fingers and hands across your body. Explore your breasts and play with your nipples caress your legs and thighs. Cup your vulva in your hand and gently rub in small circles. Stimulate your body, but do not try to reach orgasm. Make yourself feel good. If you feel yourself get tense, stop what you are doing, breath deeply and relax. Do this exercise as often as possible, but for no longer than 20 minutes per session. Do not tire or stress yourself out. The point of this exercise is to make you feel good while staying relaxed, not to have an orgasm. You want to feel a little aroused, but at peace - not compelled to go further.

After you become comfortable exploring and touching your body you will want to try more direct means of stimulating your vulva. Slip your fingers between the folds of your vulva and massage and play with your inner labia, perhaps pulling on them lightly or firmly. Slip your fingers up to the top of your vulva and place them on top of your clitoris. Gently move your fingers up and down, around, and perhaps even wildly jiggle them. Make the loose tissue covering your clitoris slide across the body and glans of your clitoris. If you feel a need to be filled, insert a finger or two into your vagina. You want to make yourself feel really good, but you do not want to intentionally try to have an orgasm. If an orgasm occurs, you want it to be a total surprise. If you are thinking about having an orgasm, you need to slow down, relax, and redirect your thoughts. You do not want your brain to know you are about to have an orgasm.

You may not experience orgasm the first few times, so do not try to. Just enjoy the pleasures of touching yourself. If you get to a point where you suddenly find your body is super-tense, you are trying too hard. Try to enjoy yourself, not orgasm. You want to surprise yourself with an orgasm. If you feel yourself on the verge of orgasm, but cannot get there, you are probably trying too hard; you cannot force your body to have an orgasm. The more you concentrate on trying to have an orgasm, the less likely you are to have one.

Clitoral Stimulation-

Using your hands and fingers, stimulate (rub, stroke, pinch, etc) the clitoris with one or more fingers or the palm of your hand. Some find direct contact with the clitoris too intense, and prefer stimulation near or around the clitoris. Others prefer to have a layer of clothing or some other fabric between the hand and clitoris. Try it both ways and see what works best for you.

G-Spot Stimulation-

Inserting a vibrator or dildo into the vagina can help locate and stimulate your G-spot and offers a feeling of fullness in the vagina. You can locate your G-spot with your fingers, but it’s difficult to provide adequate stimulation through manual masturbation. Women who enjoy stimulation of the G-spot usually employ sexual toys to make it easier and more enjoyable.

Vibrators-

Vibrators are used primarily for clitoral stimulation, though many women also use them for vaginal or anal stimulation. They also may be combined with other toys and used in any number of positions. A good, discrete alternative to a vibrator for clitoral or anal stimulation is a massage wand. However, massage wands cannot be used for vaginal or anal penetration. 

Common, Everyday Objects-

Rub your clitoris against any soft, non-abrasive object (e.g., a pillow, the corner of a couch, etc.) and see if you enjoy the stimulation it provides.

Showers-

A detachable shower-head can be quite scintillating for just about any woman. The best shower available is the ones with the versatile control that switches the water from a steady stream to a pulsating jet spray. In hot tubs, avoid sending strong streams of water into the vagina; in extreme cases this can cause fatal air embolism.

Men’s for beginners -

Basic Stroke - 

Place one or both hands around your erect penis and stroke up and down along the shaft. If you require, use some water-based lubricant to increase pleasure. Some men enjoy encircling the head of the penis with each stroke.

Slapping and Beating -

This technique involves a steady slapping of the penis back and forth between two hands, against the stomach, or against some other object.

Sources of Stimulation -

When using one hand to masturbate, or with a partner, there is the opportunity to receive other forms of sexual stimulation at the same time. Many men find it pleasurable to fondle their scrotum, gently rub the perineum (area of the scrotum), and have their nipples rubbed.

Womens Orgasm/Ejaculation-

An even greater mystery to most people than Female Orgasm is female ejaculation. Although we may have heard stories about who can ejaculate, or who have been with women who can ejaculate, many of us have never actually experienced it first hand. When asked to describe the ejaculations, responses are often quite similar, “It’s liquid, it’s clear, it’s wet, and it squirts”. 

Some studies conclude that in some women the ejaculate is more like urine, and in other women it more like a prostate fluid. Until this question is answered fully, its safest to assume that it is a bit of both. The quantity of ejaculate can range from a few drops, to a shower of it.

Where does the ejaculate come from? There are several theories on this, but remaining constant amongst all of them is that female ejaculation comes from G-spot Stimulation. When the G-spot is stimulated over a period of time, the spongy tissue that creates this area fills with fluid. Women who can ejaculate often hold back, thinking that it is urine. The exact source of the ejaculate is still debated by researchers, but it does appear to come out of the urethra (like urine) and/or nearby Skene’s Gland.

Male Orgasm/Ejaculation - 

The formal definition of male ejaculation is “the release of semen from the penis”. During sexual stimulation, semen collects in the ejaculatory ducts located where the vas deferentia join seminal vesicles within the prostate gland. 

When stimulation reaches climax, a spinal reflex causes contractions to the muscles within the penis, urethra, and the prostate gland. These contractions propel the semen through the urethra and out of the tip of the penis. Although male ejaculation and orgasm occur simultaneously in most cases, they are not the same process.

An orgasm, specifically, is the rhythmic muscular contractions that are a release of accumulated sexual tension and result in an intensely pleasurable sensation.